Myths About Rape

Fact: Survivors are often asked what they were wearing, or are told to ‘cover-up’ in order to protect themselves. Not only does this place the responsibility with the survivor rather than the perpetrator, it also inaccurately suggests that sexual violence is related to clothing, which it is not.

There is never an excuse for rape, and clothing is never an invitation for it.

Fact: Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If a person is unable to give consent because they are drunk, drugged or unconscious, it is rape. All of the responsibility and blame for committing that crime lies with the perpetrator.

Fact: Sexual violence can happen to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation. We also know that sexual violence is about violence, power and control so the idea that only men who are attracted to men assault other men is inaccurate and detrimental (both to survivors and the queer community).

Fact: Not saying ‘no’ is not the same as someone giving their consent. If someone seems unsure, stays quiet, moves away or doesn’t respond, they are not agreeing to sexual activity.

People may react to traumatic situations in a variety of ways. For example, feeling frozen, ‘stuck’, or unable to speak is one of our body’s automatic way of protecting us during a traumatic event. Non-consensual intercourse doesn’t always leave visible signs on the body, so whether or not someone shows signs of injury or ‘struggle’ should not be used as a way to measure the ‘severity’ of the situation someone has been through.

Fact: Reactions to rape are highly varied and individual. Some people may cry or get angry, while others may say and do nothing. Many people experience a form of shock after a rape that leaves them emotionally numb or flat – and apparently calm.

Nobody can ever know for sure how they would react in such a traumatic situation, so it is wrong to make assumptions about anyone else’s experiences. Everyone is unique and so there is no right or wrong way to behave after rape.

Fact: Levels of false reporting are extremely low. In fact, the majority of people who experience sexual violence will never report to the police, and it’s harmful myths like these that contribute to this.

Fact: Sex workers have the same rights with regards to consent as anyone else; the transactions they negotiate with clients are for consensual activities, not rape. Their profession does not assume their consent.

Fact: A woman can be convicted of a serious offence for sexually assaulting someone. If you were subjected to sexual activity that you didn’t consent to, that is assault, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator. The idea that women cannot be abusive makes many survivors’ experiences invisible.

Fact: Consent is required for any kind of sexual activity every single time. Consent to one sexual activity does not mean consent to another, and nobody owes it to their partner to have sex just because they are in a relationship. Rape is always rape

Fact: For many people, experiencing rape or another form of sexual violence or abuse can be a very difficult thing to talk about – and it might be a long time before they feel able to. This can be for lots of different reasons. They might feel like they’ll be judged or blamed or not believed. Or they might be scared of their perpetrator or another person finding out.

Some survivors may not realise straight away what has happened.

Fact: The idea that men who are sexually assaulted, particularly where the perpetrator is a woman, are ‘lucky’ relies on misogynistic notions of men ‘always being up for sex’, and women ‘always gatekeeping sex’. This is an invalidating myth that leaves many men fearful that their experience will be laughed off.

Fact: The majority of rapes are committed by persons known to the survivor. It’s important to acknowledge this so that we don’t erase or invalidate many survivors experiences.

In addition, the widespread idea that we shouldn’t go out alone at night distracts from the true nature of the problem, and places the onus on survivors rather than rapists to
change their behaviour.

Fact: People of all ages and appearances, of all classes, cultures, abilities, genders, sexualities, races and religions, are raped.

By presenting the idea that only young women are potential victims, we make it harder for others to come forward, and risk making their experiences of sexual violence invisible.